Many clients however believe that there is only one route that can be taken if they are separating from their spouse or partner which seems to be led by media stories of days in court, aggressive solicitors firing shots over the parapets and an adversarial contest where points mean prizes.  

That is of course an option that is open should you wish to pursue it and in some cases that is the most appropriate course of action. However it is only one of several ways to deal with separation.  Every family is different and you must find out the right way for you to deal with your home, finances and children.

There are four main choices of how a separation and\or divorce can be dealt with:   DIY, Mediation, Collaborative Law or the “traditional” approach.

1.         DIY      - Reaching an agreement between yourselves.

            This can be the cheapest, quickest and easiest way to reach a settlement and can be done with or without legal support.  It is suitable for those are in agreement to the separation, who remain on good terms and communicate well with each other.  There must be trust in each other to agree on how money and property should be shared fairly.     You may still want to take legal advice before choosing this option to make sure that you understand the implications of any decisions that are made.

2.         Mediation

            Mediators are trained to help people resolve all issues faced by separating couples.   A mediator would meet with you and your partner together and try to help you reach agreement.   Mediators are neutral and do not take sides and usually recommend that some legal input is sought alongside the process.   Once an agreement is reached, the mediator will prepare a summary of the agreement together with a summary of financial information that can be discuss with your lawyer.  This can then be converted to a legally binding document, a Consent order and executed.

3.         Collaborative Law

            Each person appoints their own lawyer but instead of negotiations being conducted by letters and phone, meetings take place with you and your partner and your respective lawyers (who must be specially trained) and everyone works openly to resolve issues.    Each of you are legally represented and sign an agreement not to go to court.  There is a real commitment by all parties including the lawyers to find the best solutions by agreement rather than conflict.   Once agreement is reached a Consent order can be prepared and approved by the court. 

4.         Traditional Court process 

            This is still the most common and for some the most suitable option from the start, for others it is the last resort.   Lawyers are instructed by each party and negotiations take place, with an application to Court being made if no agreement can be reached.  Sometimes an application is made earlier in the process if necessary.  The Court issues a timetable of steps which move the case to a conclusion.  However, there can be delays within this process although if an agreement is reached the matter can conclude at that stage.   IF the court process reaches the Final Hearing, the judge has a broad discretion to make an order based on what is thought to be fair and you are bound by that decision.

There are many issues that may influence a decision on how best to proceed and these should be discussed with your specialist family lawyer so that the right decision is made for you and your family.

Rachel Spencer Robb is an Resolution Accredited Specialist and Collaboratively trained Lawyer at Clarion Solicitors LLP.   She is also a member of the Family Law Panel.   See her full profile and other blogs and articles at www.clarionsolicitors.com     Feel free to contact her direct on 0113 336 3349 to discuss any of the issues raised here or any other family law issue.