Traditionally when parties decide to separate they each seek their own independent legal adviser from specialist family lawyers.  Through their lawyers they negotiate issues that arise from their separation but predominantly these issues are of a financial nature.  They negotiate through their lawyers how to share the assets and their incomes, if appropriate.  The disadvantage of this process is that the couples are at risk of becoming entrenched in their respective positions and what is best for them alone.  Often a party may try and influence the other to agree to a settlement on their terms by threatening to "see them in court otherwise". The fear of protracted and expensive court proceedings can have that affect. 

So how is collaborative law different?

If a couple choose to embrace the collaborative route (and it is not suitable for all couples see below) they have a single "goal" of obtaining a solution to their difficulties which is best for their family unit.  Both parties still have the benefit of their own independent legal advisers but the role of the independent legal adviser is to guide the parties to enable them to achieve their "goal".  The parties must enter into an agreement (called a Participation Agreement) at the very beginning. By signing it they commit to finding a solution through the process which involves face to face discussions with both independent legal advisers present (these meetings are known as four way meetings) without resorting to Court proceedings. Letters between solicitors are reduced to a minimum reducing the risk of any misunderstanding.

What are the advantages of collaborative law?

The process is often much quicker, it reduces heartache and saves money.

There is a reduced risk of misunderstanding and therefore positioning by the parties. 

The parties are in control and therefore can be creative in the solutions they reach. They identify the subjects to be addressed and can also choose the pace at which matters proceed as they are not governed by strict court timetables (Consumers nowadays are used to self-ordering their lives).

The independent legal advisers are trained to eliminate natural and common feelings of anger and bitterness which the parties may feel from time to time. 

It allows the parties to concentrate on the practicalities of a solution rather than "the legal principals". The parties learn how to communicate again which is especially important when they have children as they need to be able to co parent often for many years to come. 

There is a sense of achievement that the parties have found a solution to their differences by themselves (with guidance from their independent legal advisers).  Often the parties rediscover a sense of respect for each other by completing the process. 

Is collaborative law for me?

You need to have: -

• An ability to participate in good faith.  

• An ability to see perspectives beyond your own. 

• A determination to use the process to resolve issues.  

• An expectance of the negative whilst searching for the positive. 

• An ability to consider the needs and interests of others and the family unit as a whole. 

• The wish for both parties to retain their respective integrity and be able to continue co parenting the children despite the fact that they are no longer a couple. 

Collaborative law is not "the soft option" it requires commitment and determination by both parties for finding the best solution for them and their family unit. Research shows that it’s not divorce or separation that affects our children, it’s how people divorce that does, so what better way than to all sit together, agree what really matters to everyone, keep control of the process together, get appropriate help, where needed, reach agreement without the courts, get the agreement ratified by the courts and move on – not together, but in harmony.

Carol Grundell, Partner and Head of Family Law, DWF LLP, Leeds, has practised as a collaborative Family Lawyer since 2005.